Reviewed by Daniel J. Glass, PhD, ABPP
It’s completely normal for children and teens to feel nervous before a big presentation or a new social event. But when that nervousness turns into intense fear, avoidance, or emotional distress in everyday social interactions, it may be more than just shyness—it could be social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental health concerns in children and teens. It can impact everything from school participation and social activities to friendships and self-esteem. The good news? With the right support, your child can learn to manage anxiety, build healthy relationships, and feel more confident in their everyday life.
Understanding Social Anxiety in Kids and Teens
Children and teens with social anxiety experience an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected in social situations. This fear can be so overwhelming that they begin to avoid everyday activities, even when they desperately want to engage.
Common Symptoms of Social Anxiety may include:
- Avoiding speaking in class or answering questions
- Withdrawing from group activities or social events
- Refusing to attend school or participate in clubs or teams
- Expressing a fear of making mistakes or being watched
- Displaying physical symptoms such as blushing, sweating, stomachaches, or rapid heartbeat before anxiety-provoking social situations
- Difficulty making eye contact or initiating conversations
In some cases, children may experience selective mutism—where they are unable to speak in certain social interactions despite being able to talk comfortably at home. Others may push through their fear but with significant distress.
Another common symptom of social anxiety is hypersensitivity to perceived criticism from others. This can result in children and teens becoming defensive when others offer them even constructive feedback. Socially anxious young people may also be prone to social difficulties because they can interpret others’ actions or words in a negative light, leading to arguments or tensions with peers; they may also simply feel that others don’t like them.
The Impact on Daily Life
Left untreated, social anxiety disorder can interfere with a child’s academic performance, ability to form friendships, and willingness to explore new experiences. Over time, it may affect overall well-being and lead to feelings of isolation or depression.
It’s important to remember that social anxiety is not a character flaw or a lack of effort—it’s a real and treatable condition that often stems from a combination of genetics, temperament, and past experiences.
Effective Treatments for Social Anxiety
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for social anxiety, but several effective treatments can make a big difference in how children and teens cope with their fears and navigate the world more confidently.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is widely considered the gold standard in treating social anxiety disorder. It helps children identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns (“Everyone is staring at me,” or “If I say the wrong thing, they’ll laugh at me”) and replace them with more realistic, supportive thinking. It can also help children learn concrete social skills, such as starting conversations or joining group activities.
CBT also teaches coping skills, like deep breathing, self-talk, and planning for anxiety-provoking social situations. It’s practical, skill-based, and empowering.
- Exposure Therapy
As part of CBT, exposure therapy involves gradually and safely facing feared situations, starting with less-intimidating scenarios and building up to more challenging ones. Over time, repeated exposure helps reduce the fear response and increases confidence.
For example, a child might first practice saying “hello” to a classmate, then work up to giving a short presentation in front of the class. These experiences are carefully paced and supported to promote success.
- Social Skills Groups
Social skills groups provide a safe, structured environment for children to practice interacting with peers, guided by a trained facilitator. These groups often incorporate role-playing, cooperative games, and problem-solving activities that help children build confidence in social settings.
For children with social anxiety, practicing with peers who share similar challenges can make it easier to take social risks, receive feedback, and develop friendships in a supportive atmosphere.
- Medication Support
In some cases, particularly when anxiety is severe or significantly interfering with daily functioning, a healthcare provider may recommend medication to help manage symptoms. Medication can reduce overall anxiety levels and make it easier for a child to benefit from therapy.
Decisions about whether to use medication should always be made collaboratively between families, providers, and mental health professionals.
How Parents Can Help
As a parent or caregiver, your support plays a powerful role in helping your child build resilience and thrive.
Here are a few ways to help:
- Normalize, don’t minimize: Let your child know that feeling anxious is normal and manageable.
- Avoid avoidance: Gently encourage participation in social activities, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
- Model calm confidence: Your own approach to social situations can serve as a guide. Show how you handle discomfort and uncertainty with courage.
- Celebrate small wins: Every attempt to face a fear—even saying "hi" to a peer—is a victory worth acknowledging.
- Practice skills at home: Try role-playing common scenarios like starting conversations, ordering food, or asking a teacher for help.
Building confidence in social situations doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience, encouragement, and support, it is absolutely possible.
When to Seek Professional Support
If your child’s anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, or daily life—or if it causes ongoing distress—it may be time to reach out for help. At Sasco River Center, we specialize in treating social anxiety in children and teens using proven approaches like CBT, exposure therapy, and skills-based coaching.
Our experienced clinicians work one-on-one or in small groups to help children learn coping mechanisms, improve social skills, and feel empowered to face fears in manageable, supported ways.
Serving Connecticut Families
We’re proud to support Fairfield and Westchester County families at our locations in Darien and Wilton, Connecticut, with in-person therapy and telehealth options to meet your child’s needs. Call us at (203) 202-7654 or email hello@sascoriver.com to schedule a consultation or learn more about our child and teen anxiety services.
Together, we can help your child go from fear to confidence—one step, one voice, one social success at a time.